


you cant retire

by whichlights



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Complete, Crying, Gen, LLOYDS LIFE SUCKS, Post Season 5, Sad, Tags Are Hard, let lloyd cry, not gre/enfla/me, thats as far up as my netflix goes and to cope i ficced, venty fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/pseuds/whichlights
Summary: Lloyd looked at Kai, and sighed. "I'm done.""Done? With what?""Everything!" Lloyd snapped.





	

“The future is bright. For us, and Ninjago.” Lloyd stared off at the water, then turned back to his team. “Kai, can I talk to you? Just for a sec.”

"Uh, yah. Sure." Kai followed him into an empty room of the ship. "What about?" He asked as he shut the door. 

Lloyd looked at Kai, and sighed. "I'm done."

"Done? With what?"

"Everything!" Lloyd snapped. Kai's eyes widened and he took a step back, obviously startled. "You can be the Green Ninja, Kai. Just like you always wanted, right?"

Kai frowned. "Lloyd-"

"Kai, I'm sorry." Lloyd rubbed his head. "That came out a lot meaner than I wanted it to. You're my friend."

"No, it's fine. Just tell me how you think-"

"Just listen to me." Lloyd snapped, and Kai shut up before he could say whatever hurtful thing he was about to say. "I... I am tired, Kai. I'm so freaking tired."

Lloyd shuddered and sat down, even though there wasn't a chair, leaning against the wall. "I never wanted this. I was, what, a  _kid_ , and I got dragged into a war I  _never_ wanted against my own father. I got powers I wasn't ready for. I lost my father, got him back, lost him again and then I lost him even  _more_. He was  _right there_." Lloyd's voice broke. "He was just  _standing_ there and I couldn't help him and now he's gone  _forever_. What's the  _point_ of being the Green Ninja if I can't help my own family?" He screamed. 

He didn't stop. "I mastered my green energy, I did my best. I had to fight my own father, even if he was possessed by the Overlord, and then I became the Golden Ninja and I got him  _back_. And he  _wasn't evil_. The years after that were the  _best of my life._ And speaking of my  _life_ , and  _years_ , I had to get dragged into this war while I was a  _child_ , and then because  _destiny_ wanted it, I gave up my childhood to become a soldier."

"How old am I, Kai?" Lloyd looked up at a shellshocked Kai. " _How old am I_?"

"I don't know." Kai answered honestly. "Seventeenish?"

"Ish." Lloyd chuckled bitterly and put his chin on his knees. "I was younger than that for the robot bull. When I was  _tortured_ for my Golden Power!" Lloyd sobbed. "How old was I then?"

"I don't know."

"And you know what else? I couldn't even stop the Overlord, Zane had to do it, and that's  _my fault_. And we went to Chen's island to get him back, and I forced you all to do it, and it was all  _my fault_."

"Lloyd, it wasn't-"

"And then!" Lloyd sobbed again. "I lost my dad! Again! I felt like I'd  _just_ got him back. And then. He freed some _snakes_ and he was gone. And then I saw him, just an hour or two ago, and now I've really lost him. Except this time  _I left him_ , not the other way around."

"You know what else has been happening recently? I got  _possessed_. By a  _ghost_." Lloyd stood up, and realized he was screaming and his hands were coated with energy and Kai looked more than a little frightened, but Lloyd couldn't be bothered to give a damn. "I couldn't stop him, I was  _helpless._ And even when he let me go, I was still helpless, and I almost  _drowned_."

"I wouldn't have let that happen." Kai promised. Lloyd looked at him and smiled bitterly. "You can't swim. You can't swim and you jumped in to save me because I couldn't do it myself."

"Lloyd, none of that is your fault."

"But you know what?" Lloyd continued, ignoring him. "What really bugs me? The stuff I can't remember. The stuff I'm forgetting. There's  _more_ , on top of all this crap. And I am  _so tired of it_!"

Lloyd felt tears running down his face. "So, Kai. You can be the Green Ninja. I'm retiring. Because you know what? It should have gone to someone who  _wanted_ to be the Green Ninja. I never did."

"I don't want to be the Green Ninja anymore." Kai whispered.

"You're right you don't!" Lloyd screamed. "And for a good! Damn! Reason!"

Lloyd fell to his knees, shoved his face in his hands, and let himself cry for the first time in years. Kai kneeled down beside him, and tentatively gave him a hug.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is witchlightsands and im a crying mess *thumbs up*


End file.
